Journal Entry of a 12 Year Old

The voice that makes it hard to eat

The following is a journal entry of a 12-year-old detailing the struggle a/b has with her psychologist.

Hi,

I wanted to talk to you about the voice that makes it hard to eat because it won’t shut up. I don’t think it likes you because it sure argues with what you say a lot. It seems right, even though I like what you say better. Your voice doesn’t give me a headache.

You said that I don’t need to do anything to make my friends like me and you said I’m not just a body. The voice that makes it hard to eat says that’s not true, that people do care about how you look and they won’t like me if I’m not thin because people don’t like and aren’t nice to people who are fat. You said I wasn’t fat. The voice says I am and that I would be happier, feel better, be healthier, and be liked more if I listen to it and not you.

It says it cares about me and is trying to help me. You said please don’t lose weight and that I’m not fat. The voice says that you have to say that stuff to be polite and not hurt my feelings and that’s not really what you think.

The voice says to look at the people who are happy, lovable and successful and they are all thin. I like you and the voice says that you are skinny and that’s the one thing you have going for you. When I listen to the voice my stomach hurts. You say it’s because I’m starving. It says it’s because I’m weak and that if I listen more, I will be stronger. The voice says that everything that’s good needs to be worked hard for and that’s the way life works.

The voice says everyone listens to it and believes it except you and that all I need to do is turn on the television and I will see how right it is because everyone who is happy, lovable, and successful is thin.

The voice says that feelings I had when my Dad called me “fatty” and when that stuff happened that made me want to hide and not be seen by anybody-it can make that feeling go away and I won’t ever feel it again. I like that idea……….

This journal entry could be my own. I'm amazed at the similarities! 

Can anyone relate? is the voice saying the same stuff to you?

Please comment.